Tuesday, April 27, 2004

MY TOP 10 JOKES FROM MY COLLECTION OF MAXIM MAGAZINES 

Most of my friends, if not all, know that I have an ample collection of "mens magazine". Mens magazine in a sense the kinds of magazines that are read/looked at by most men (with lots of pictures of HOT GILRS and INTERESTING Articles) such as Maxim, Stuff, FHM and Playboy just to mention a few. NOT the kinds that are filled with pictures of men. Sorry, I'm just not into that. Well anyway, a good freind of mine, loucee, suggested that I should make a top ten of something from those collections of mine and post it in my blog instead of my usuall bitching and complaining about how sucks and pathetic my life is. So, without further a do, here are MY TOP 10 JOKES FROM MY COLLECTION OF MAXIME MAGAZINES:

1. Two cowboys are out on the range one starry night talking abuot their favorite sex positions. One says, "Ever have rodeo sex"? "Ain't heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?"
"Well, you get the girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup her breasts, whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just like your sister's!' and see how long you can hang on."

2. Q: What's the difference between an airship and 365 blowjobs?
A: One's only a Goodyear; the other's a freaking fantastic one

3. The sex ed teacher draws a picture of a penis on the board and asks the class, "Can anyone tellme what this is?" Johny stands up and says, "I know what it is. It's a penis. And you know how I know? My dad's got two of them." The teacher is a little surprised."Two of them? Are you sure, son?"
"Of course I am. He uses the little one to pee and the big one to brush the baby-sitter's teeth"

4. Q:What's long, hard and fucks old people?
A: Osteoporosis

5. Q: Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to to play with; the other's used to carry gorceries

6. Q: What do you call a body builder with a big penis?
A: A beginner

7. Q: How come Barbie never once got knocked up?
A: Because Ken came in a different box

8. A guy walks into a bar and says, "give me two double vodkas". The bartender says," wow, you must've had one hell of a day". "Yup, I just found out that my older brother is gay."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for another pair of doubles. "I just found out that my younger brother is gay too." he explains.
On the third day, the guy enters the bar and orders another two double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesnt anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife.."

9. Q: What should you do if a pretty girl sits on your hand?
A: Try to get her off :)

10. Q: What do you call a lesbian eskimo?
A: A clondyke

One bonus joke from Playboy:
Q: Why are nurses so bad at giving oral sex?
A: Because they always wait for the swelling to go down.

posted by lanternaon Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Monday, April 12, 2004

I think I'm losing my f***ing mind here. I'm so stressed out because of school now. I just can't focus on my school works anymore. Pikiran gua kemana mana neh. I became easily worried about little stuff yang sebenernya "ngga penting" bgt. Projects(group and individual), presentations, and papers and exams keep coming...one after another. The workload is just too much to handle for me right now, especially with other things goin on in my life such as Permias and some personal stuff. I've never felt this stressed out about school during my undergrad years and yet I was still able to maintain a descent gpa. I know grad school's work load shouldn't be compared to that of undergrad's. But, it's a bit odd that I managed to do somewhat well in my first three semesters in grad school and now that I'm on my last, it seems that it's the hardest one of all. My mind is so f***ed up right now that barusan gua nyoba ngerjain take home midterm gua...it took me quite awhile to figure out a simple Supply and Demand problem. So much for an economics major (undergrad) huh :(. In addition, I'm also infected with a "senioritis" syndrome a.k.a penyakit males..heheheeheh :) I guess I just a need break aja from all the stuff that I'm doing right now. It would be great if I could just sit back and relax and not to worry about stuff or anything and just read John Grisham's thrillers :) Yah tapi gua tau kok keadaanya tidak bisa begitu :( Well gitu aja deh. To those who read this posting, this is just one of my regular habits of complaining about how pathetic my life is....ngga penting bgt...hehehehe...:) adiossss

posted by lanternaon Monday, April 12, 2004

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

New Layout 

Ahhh....*sigh*..I finally finished changing the layout of this damn blog..hehehhehe....I actually didn't plan to change my layout at all. Jadi ceritanya gini, yesterday, I told someone (ehem..;)to change the settings on my tag board...and just on my tag board ;)...heheheeh... but he decided to change a couple of the settings for the layout as well. I dont know why he did that. As a result, the layout turned out to be messy and jadi ngga enak di liat gitu deh. Sebetulnya seeh bisa di ganti ke old setting lagi and everything should turn back to what it was before. Tapi guanya males aja ganti2 settingsnya lagi and so I thought, hey why not change the whole layout, cuz gua juga udah bosen ngeliatinnya....and so I did. I spent a couple of hours last night designing my "new" layout. When it's done, I told a couple of friends to check it out, and taunya banyak yang ngga suka...ada yang bilang "anehhh", "kurang laki" aka feminine..hehehehe..pokoknya banyak yang ngga suka deh....Soooo, pas pulang kerja tadi...langsung aja deh gua ganti lagi....takut di kritik orang2 lain..heheheh... and now it's all readyyyyy....mudah2an ngga di kritik lagi ama orang lain..heheheeh:)

Moving on....I'm currently on my Spring Break...yeeee....it's finally here....udah di tungguin lama2 and akhirnya dateng juga..hehehe..apa seeh..norak bgt yah gua..kayak ngga pernah Spring Break aja :) However, it doenst feel like Spring Break though....I'm occupied with a shit load of school work :( I hate school neeh....udah muak aja rasanya kuliah mulu....cant wait untill I'm done in May. Sooo...I made a list of all the school works I had to do during my "Spring Break". Here they are:

1. Investment Analysis for Mgmt 690
2. Target Acquisition Presentation for Mgmt 690
3. Take home midterm for Intl 705
4. Paper for Mgmt 725
5. Start studying for the Oral Comprehensive Exam in May
6. Apply for Jobs

*Sighhhhhhhhhhh*...gua capek bgt neeh....dari tadi ngerjain layout baru....goshhhh...i havent eaten dinner yet.....aight then..thats all from me for now folks.....adios...hey now :)

posted by lanternaon Wednesday, April 07, 2004